An Inner Journey I Took For My True Life And What I Have Found


An Inner Journey I Took For My True Life And What I Have Found 

In July 2011, I visited this meditation main center in Nonsan, South Korea. Although I started practicing this meditation in Argentina, I decided to take a trip to South Korea to do more intensive meditation. I believed that no matter how busy I was, there was nothing more important than finding my true self and living as a true existence.

My family immigrated to Paraguay when I was 5 years old. My father was a doctor of oriental medicine and has always appreciated the inner values. He said that finding new ways from nature was the real remedy as our body was also a part of nature, and he has been able to heal hard-to-cure diseases after doing much research.

I naturally wanted to become a doctor after watching my father since my childhood. I had been curing patients for more than 10 years, and I heartily felt that what was more difficult to cure than physical illnesses was illnesses from the mind. Together with my brother, I specialized in internal medicine for children and adults.

In 2009, I changed my specialization to aesthetic medicine. Unlike cosmetic surgery with scalpels, aesthetic medicine helps improve your appearance with treatments such as Botox. It seemed that the clients just wanted to become pretty; but on the other hand, they mostly had some kind of problems in their mind.

There was one who was obsessed with looking good after she lost her husband to a younger lady.  She was already pretty but was filled with inferiority. There was another patient who begged me to remove her wrinkles even though she didn’t have any.
Although I advised them to “please have calmness within your mind” and to “try to throw away that kind of mind”, it was always difficult because I knew that, even though I was a doctor, I could not control my own mind easily. But I was able to get over those limits in 2008 when I started practicing this meditation.

While meditating I recalled the time I first came to Paraguay. I worked hard to avoid looking at other people’s eyes; I felt they looked at me as if they were looking at a monkey because I was an Asian.

My past memories spread out before me – the memory that I chose pediatrics for my specialization because I liked kids, but changed it later as it was painful to see sick kids, and the memories that I had misunderstood things and had been easily hurt, crying over trivial matters, all because my family had always protected me as I had been weak as a child.

Within these memories, I could see ‘myself who only knows about me.’ I was given a lot of love from my family, friends and the people around me, but I would coldheartedly break off relations with them, even if they wronged me in the most insignificant way. I was always given respect, but I thought I deserved it because I thought I was superior to others; yet I never knew how to appreciate others. And of course I didn’t know how to admit my fault to others.

As I reflected on myself, I realized I was full of attachments. My possessions, my family, my friends…… I had never lost any of my possessions, even the smallest needle. But when my close friend became close to another friend, I felt hurt and betrayed.

After I became a doctor, I thought I had to live caring about how others saw me. As a doctor, I thought I must be a certain way, to wear certain clothes and maintain a good reputation, while keeping my pride and making sure I was prepared for the future. I had always been restrained by these things. Within them, I was constantly hurt and worried.

I had always been restless and my brain was working overtime because of thoughts like ‘I must be good all the time’ and ‘I must build up a fabulous future.’ While meditating, I realized that these things were all illusions and I started to throw out these ‘fake’ illusions.

One day, I came to realize that I was just a foolish person to be so worried over such insignificant things.

I had only lived in my mind world and never ever lived as the real existence. I always thought I was superior and I lived as the king of my kingdom that I had created. Nevertheless everyone around me and the world had been truly embracing me with a warm heart.

I have been gradually changing. I was introverted, but have become a lot more active and brave that I can talk in front of many people without being shy. I also started to break free from the never-ending worries about the past and future, like “what if this goes wrong…”
Additionally, I also have hope as a doctor because I can now say to the patients who suffer from their mind that there is a way to throw out the mind.
I feel grateful to everything. I am grateful that I can throw away my mind, grateful that I live in this world, grateful when I eat, grateful to my family and grateful even when I look at the sky. I am also grateful to the patients who visit me.

For the first time in my life, I experienced the action meditation in South Korea. Action meditation is the meditation of throwing out me while working in natural settings, such as farming, perhaps in the sesame fields or chili pepper fields growing the vegetables, which the students would share at mealtimes. I would throw out myself while doing this action meditation in nature. This was something I had never done before, but my energy was somewhat recharged in my body. I felt that when we do actions for others our body could then be filled with a lively energy. If I am given the opportunity later, I would like to recommend to my patients to do this action meditation.

While meditating intensively for a number of months, not only did I become a lot freer from myself but the minds where I cared about how others see me have disappeared. I have enlightened to the true peace; this is to live truly, and to live just as it is, not being conscious of others looking at me, no matter which clothes I wear and no matter what I say.

I am going back to Argentina soon. When I get back there, I would like to tell my patients and everyone I meet about this peace of mind that I have. Also, I would like to tell them about what it is to live being real.

The real life is living in this world and breaking away from my mind world. When there is none of myself which is fake I am just the Universe and live just as the Universe mind. If you see from that mind, you know how the world works and live truly free and happily. I truly hope everyone comes to know the real life through this meditation.

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